It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back she was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.

Cite Arrow It’s not that I don’t love you.  (via extrasad)

(via maybe-kaaatie)

(Source: jesus-san, via movestomake)

Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence. Cite Arrow The Little Prince  (via bl-ossomed)

(Source: itsthewaitingunknown, via styleshockey)

blankonblank:

"If you aren’t gonna say exactly how and what you feel, you might as well not say anything at all." ― Johnny Cash

(via bonnielaysunderthesea)

When I was in college, a teacher once said that all women live by a ‘rape schedule.’ I was baffled by the term, but as she went on to explain, I got really freaked out. Because I realized that I knew exactly what she was talking about. And you do too. Because of their constant fear of rape (conscious or not), women do things throughout the day to protect themselves. Whether it’s carrying our keys in our hands as we walk home, locking our car doors as soon as we get in, or not walking down certain streets, we take precautions. While taking precautions is certainly not a bad idea, the fact that certain things women do are so ingrained into our daily routines is truly disturbing. It’s essentially like living in a prison - all the time. We can’t assume that we’re safe anywhere: not on the streets, not in our homes. And we’re so used to feeling unsafe that we don’t even see that there’s something seriously fucked up about it. Cite Arrow Jessica Valenti (via wordsthat-speak)

(via styleshockey)

visiblecc1:

fuglypudding:

if watermelon exists why doesn’t earthmelon, firemelon and airmelon??

The elemelons

(via voice-of-roses)

paper-r1val:

Me

Every morning I have this conversation with myself.

(Source: andremichaux, via sammarkumismyhomegirl)

heytinafey:


my favorite olympic athletes

heytinafey:

my favorite olympic athletes

(via maybe-kaaatie)

atlathghpcm:

thrillingtales:

#studentloans

THAT TAG.

(Source: theblackpearlscaptain, via voice-of-roses)